Saturday, July 28, 2001
I'm reading a book by Ramona & Desmond Morris entitled "Men and Pandas". When I finish I'll start reading Hope Ryden's "God's Dog", also about pandas.
I'm starting to wonder that if I obtained a panda from somewhere, perhaps China, and repainted it in the official Sanction colours, and left it to play in a Dave Sanction-endorsed panda pen in the Student Union, perhaps it would boost my popularity on campus. And when I become President of the Student Union I can slaughter the panda, give meat to Coventry's homeless and fur coats to the ladies in my campaign team. After that I'll put Warwick Dumas in a panda suit instead.
Matthew 6:06 PM
Friday, July 27, 2001
From Reuters:
"J-Lo requests Dave Sanction's production skills"
"Famous mum-like woman J-'Lo' Lopez has approached Dave Sanction to produce her grindcore version of NWA's 'Fuck Tha Police'.
The prospect of sexy Ms. Lopez issuing such a threat has prompted record enrolments at police academies and various UK-based bobbies to remove their hard helmets and mop their sweaty brows."
Matthew 11:48 AM
Thursday, July 26, 2001
I'll share this with you so you get an idea of how difficult it is to organise a rock festival. As you can see from my email, some of my plans have changed. An email from 'Sam' of the UK post-wankers Fridge follows. I do not know what is wrong with them. I am not scary, nor do I have any free time at all.
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I'm scared of you, you don't need to do this. You have too much time on your hands. Please reconsider your angle of attack.
Many thanks.
Sam
>From: David Sanction
>To: Fridge Output
>Subject: Re: SanctionFest 2001
>Date: Wed, 25 Jul 2001 11:21:03 -0700 (PDT)
Ok Fridge,
Dave Sanction here with another interesting proposition. Since the cancellation of SanctionFest 2001, I've come up with a replacement festival. It's called Dave Sanction's Deaf Leppard with Changed Spots Festival 2001 (DSDLWCSF20001) Basically I want the world's most interesting bands to perform covers of Def Leppard's "When Love and Hate Collide" and "Pour some sugar on me". I believe that the night could truly be a wonderful experimental tribute to one of Britain's greatest ever soft rock bands! Other performers will hopefully include Aphex Twin, Colin Greenwood (Solo set), several artists from the Warp roster (including Chris Morris and Like A Tim), Calexico, Susumu Yokota, Ryoji Ikeda and Dave Pajo. Def Leppard will open and close the show with one song on either side. Hopefully the drummer will be giving the arm he lost to charity too. Admittedly none of these performers have agreed yet. But they will. Best of luck with the new album. I'll promote it through my church.
Yours, Dave Sanction
Matthew 5:11 PM
Here is the proposed line-up for my conceptual festival Sanction's Soft Post*
This is the concept. I'm approaching all of my favourite post-rock bands (recommended to me by Wire magazine) and asking them to perform two cover songs each on the night: "When Love and Hate Collide" and "Pour Some Sugar On Me", both by the mighty Def Leppard of Sheffield (it's the Steel City, I'm the Steel Man, in a phallic sense...) What we can expect is a night of amazing musical honesty and experimentation.
Here is the proposed line-up:
Chris Clark, Mouse on Mars, Alec Empire, Ryoji Ikeda, Four Tet, Pan American, Plaid, Dave Pajo, Sigur Ros, Fridge, The For Carnation, Like A Tim, Matmos, Acid Mothers Temple, Neu and the Incredible String Band.
And there'll be a special surprise at the end of the evening (clue - Dave Sanction and Leppard main man Joe Elliot have been best mates for years) . Venue and date yet to be confirmed.
*The title has a double meaning. Firstly it is an ironic and self-mocking reference to my renouned cock of steel. By suggesting it is a "soft post" I am hinting at both a flaccid penis and an impotent mind. Of course, as both ladies and scholars can testify, neither of these allegations are remotely true. The key point, however, is that I am keeping the topic of my cock alive in the public imagination. Also, my (faux) self-deprciation serves as a slap in the face to those who claim I am too arrogant to become the next President of the University of Warwick Student Union.
The title is also a beautiful muso-linguistic compromise. The evening will see a wondrous musical collaboration of the worlds of soft-rock and post-rock. Def Leppard is my favourite band of all time. "When Love and Hate Collide" reminds me of my steamy relationship with ex-Communications Officer Sherry Al-Ealah. "Pour Some Sugar On Me" are the words Sherry used to scream to me in bed. "My semen's far more salty than it is sugary, actually", I would remind her, having been trained in science.
Ultimately, Sanction likes to listen to post-rock when he is on his own; on his Walkman on the way to a lady's house for example. He believes that all post-rock relieves his mind of the stale state of daily existence, and it comforts him with its abstract fuzz. Not many people understand post-rock like he does. SO COME TO "SANCTION'S SOFT POST" 2001!!!!!
The tattoo parlour was closed. I'll go tomorrow.
Matthew 4:47 PM
Today I am getting a tattoo that will increase my height by a foot. Really it is just an optical illusion - my feet will be reconstituted just below my knee and my eyes and everything above will be on a cardboard annex atop my head. It's quite effective if you don't look too hard and concentrate on my wit.
>Salute!<
Matthew 1:08 PM
Sanction Freaky Fact: female wolves are vixens, male wolves are rapists. (source: Sanction's Animal Crackers!)
Sanction Moral Conundrum: does this mean when I rape I am no better than a common wolf?
Matthew 10:49 AM
Wednesday, July 25, 2001
25 July 2001
This is truly a remarkable day. Dave Sanction begins his web journal. I'll be updating this as regularly as possible and keeping you, the obsessed fan, up to date with all things Dave Sanction. Behold the 1st SANCTION SALUTE.
Matthew 6:48 PM
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