Friday, August 31, 2001
From Science Daily: "Sanction Science brands the top half of the brain a malignant growth."
Dave Sanction's team of fast tracked science brains have discovered that the evolutionary apparatus that seperates us from baser fools is in fact "a cunning contrivance to avoid ones true Sanction-nature". The section of the brain, responsible for such "dick paper" as the New Testament, should be removed for ones true nature (stumbling incoherently from one deluded self-image to the next, beer worship, celebrity media hierarch...) to bloom. Dave Sanction, shamen to the stars, added "finally a biological justification for my existence to be affired in all by simple brain slicing. And who will be waiting for you once you come out of sleep to welcom you to your new world? Why, one of my subordinates, of course, with a pint of beer and talk of my new hat". The collected upper brains of the world will be dumped down Sanction's throat as a symbol or something.
Matthew 12:09 PM
Friday, August 17, 2001
I am ready to take the sue publishers of this book; an expose of my Sanction lifestyle.
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0446527432.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
Matthew 12:24 AM
Monday, August 13, 2001
before anyone brands me a homophobe- let us straighten our facts. Some of my best were gays, and when I found out I refrained from stabbing them (they like thrusts to the chest by all accounts) and let the police deal with them.
Matthew 2:29 PM
I have had a number of "queer"ies reguarding my Sanction-ality following my after-dinner post. I was unaware that Sting was somewhat of a tantric-sustainer and would like to clear up any homo-issues that may have arisen from that night...
1) any erect penis I may, or may not, have had was incidental to the the rugby players presence. It can be atributed to the picture of Carol Decker of T'Pau I hung on my wall.
2)the brushing of the rugby players crotch to my behind was incidental to the main focus of the evening- which was playing the totally innocent Sting-sponsored childs game "CockBall" which is no more lewd than it sounds.
3)thrusting, whining, pounding, bleeding and low-level explosions are all part of the game which involves the catching of a little rubber ball.
Matthew 12:42 PM
Saturday, August 11, 2001
I forgot to mention. I'm cutting the ribbon and opening a new branch of Our Price Records and reading from my memoirs. 25 September. 3pm. Our Price Records. Chichester. BE THERE.
Matthew 9:01 AM
Friday, August 10, 2001
Before my trip to Bermuda, I have a packed schedule of after dinner speaches to give. Least nights was a blast. A great bunch of rugby players in a pub, drinking the beer, discussing the ladies. I crept up (I got the call from a brain link I have with a super-coach near my head) and launched forth a stream of grade A anecdotes - panda stories (including those I file under "R" for rude/rugby), lady stories, sport stories- all washed down with a dilicous pint of the guest Bitter - Sanction's Finest (bitter). What a night! I even managed to get one of the lads back to my room for a few endurance challenges he said he learned from the rock star Sting.
Matthew 11:24 AM
Monday, August 06, 2001
Wanted: One lucky lady. She will recieve an all expenses paid trip to Bermuda. She must be blonde and busty and under 23. Email me at dave_sanction@yahoo.com if you fit the bill. Leaving on 12 September for two weeks. You will have plenty of time at your disposal to explore the island while I work with the pandas. Good luck. DS
Matthew 7:14 PM
from NME.com "top selling boy band Nsync to change name to the Sanction 5"
...story to follow.
Matthew 8:25 AM
Saturday, August 04, 2001
Oh yes! Sanction has scored an all expenses paid to Bermuda, thanks to Amnesty International. Can't reveal too many details at the moment, but I'll let you know. Let's just say that I've been very active in the world of human rights! DS
''
Matthew 4:49 PM
Friday, August 03, 2001
If Webb does sign (and its unlikely) the first job will be to make-over his image. This link http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/simon_finn/neil_webb.htm concentrates rather to heavily on his weight as opposed to any skill he may/may not have had.
Matthew 9:14 AM
Neil Webb is a tosser. He will consider my offer "but has other things in the pipeline." I blame Sky TV.
Matthew 7:58 AM
Thursday, August 02, 2001
Hi! My international artist-management company is being built right now. I'm in negotiations with a couple of great acts. First are LibertyX - a great bunch of goons from the Milton Keynes punk scene- they seem pliable enough to manipulate in to performing "More Than Words". Check out their own unique brand of behaviour @ http://www.geocities.com/libertyxuk/.
Ex-Man Utd great Neil Webb has also been mooted as a potential signing.
Matthew 6:04 PM
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